Always
by GlitterNGold
Summary: "Because Elena, he may give you what you want but I will always be there to give you what you need." After her transition Elena regains all of the memories that Damon compelled her to forget, and one makes her second guess the decision she made before the accident. Oneshot.


A/N: This is my birthday present to the lovely Whitney [xVikingPunk] : ) She's amazing and you should all wish her a happy birthday!

Whitney, I know that Sooric is your favorite but I've never seen the show so I had to go for something else, I hope you still like it.

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

**Always**

* * *

She took in a deep breath and opened her brown eyes. _Where was she? _Elena's shifted her eyes nervously, staring at the blank white walls and metal countertops. She could feel the cold metal tingling against her back as she lay, dazed, in, what she now realized was, the morgue.

She was about to scream when a hand touched hers and she noticed a pair of hazel eyes staring down at her. "Stefan." Elena quickly sat up and threw her arms around his neck, only to pull away and clasp a hand to her forehead. "Stefan I have a terrible headache. What am I doing in the morgue?" Her mind was reeling as she allowed Stefan to help her down from the metal table.

"Elena, we need to get you home, now." He said quietly as he grasped her hand and began to drag her toward the doorway.

"No, Stefan, wait. Not until I know what's going on." She yanked her arm away from his.

She heard him sigh loudly before turning to face her. His large hands came to rest on her shoulders as he stared at her. "Elena there will be plenty of time for explaining once I get you home."

She shook her head, feeling defiant. She wanted to know what was going on.

"Now, now brother, there is no reason we can't tell her now. It might even be better that way." Damon said as he entered the room. The raven haired vampire shut the door to the morgue behind him as he approached them. "Afraid she will be angry with you brother?"

"If I had known I wouldn't have…" he trailed off.

"Whatever, let me handle this." Damon said as he grabbed Elena's arm gently, turning her to face him. Her brown eyes met his icy blue ones as he ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. "Elena, you were in a car accident with Matt."

"Is Matt alright?" Elena asked, "I need to see him…"

"Elena! Focus. Matt is fine, Stefan was able to save him."

"And I'm obviously fine." Elena began, "except for this headache." She added.

"Not exactly Elena. You see, Meredith gave you Vampire blood." Stefan added as he joined the duo.

"Yea…" Elena looked back and forth between the brothers. She had an uneasy feeling that was making her nauseous.

"And then you were in the accident and you…" Stefan trailed off, looking away from her.

"And I what?" Elena asked. She knew what they were going to say. She was dead but she didn't want to believe it. There was no way she was a…vampire.

"You died Elena, you're a vampire. Now we need to get you out of here, a hospital is not the place for a transitioning vampire to fill their bloodlust." Damon said bluntly as he siezed her arm.

"No, you don't have to worry about me attacking anyone, I'm not drinking blood." Elena said as she yanked her arm away and walked toward the door to the morgue.

"Don't be stupid Elena; you know you will die if you don't drink blood." Damon called as he followed her.

"I am not going to drink blood Damon. If that means I die than so be it." Elena said. "Now take me home."

Elena ignored the look the two brothers exchanged as they escorted her, safely, out of the hospital.

* * *

A few short hours later, Elena lay awake in bed, her brown eyes focused on the ceiling. How had everything gone so wrong when, not long ago, it seemed so right? She was a vampire. She never wanted to become a vampire. Although she loved two men, both vampires, she hadn't wanted to live forever, she hadn't wished to outlive her friends and family.

Not that she had any family left.

Her parents were dead.

Jenna was dead.

Alaric, a man who had taken care of Elena and her brother, was now dead.

The only family she had that was still alive was Jeremy.

_Could she really leave Jeremy alone? Could she be that selfish? But could she live forever while she had to watch him grow old and die? _

She felt the same nagging guilt when she thought of her friends.

Caroline was a vampire, she'd always have Caroline.

Tyler was a hybrid.

Stefan was a vampire.

Damon was a vampire.

But, what about Bonnie and Matt? Matt was still very much mortal and Bonnie was a witch. If Bonnie was ever turned she would lose her powers.

Elena felt a tear slide down her cheek and closed her eyes. She had _too much to think about._

She had a life or death decision to make that, no matter what, would leave someone hurting.

If she didn't transition she was sure her friends would mourn her loss.

If she did transition she would hurt herself. She would have to lose her soul. She would have to give up everything just to stay alive. But she wouldn't hurt Jeremy, or Stefan, or Caroline, or Bonnie, or Damon.

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

_She knew what she had to do, but was she ready to do it?_

* * *

Elena stood alone with Damon in the cellar of the old Salvatore Boarding house. Damon had insisted he help Elena, knowing Stefan's control was still very weak, she had agreed on his choice. She watched as he filled a glass with blood, she felt the urge to run over and take it from his hands. The hunger was painful, yet her mind told her it was disgusting.

"I can't do this Damon. I _can't." _She pushed the glass away as she turned away from him. She couldn't bring herself to drink it.

"You have to Elena, it's the right thing to do and you know it." Damon held the glass out to her again. Elena fought the urge to rip the glass out of his hand and consume the contents.

"But it's not right."

"Elena you are in love with Vampires, that never bothered you. Why does becoming one bother you so much?" Damon questioned, moving the glass closer to her face. He smiled when her eyes darkened. "Just take it you know you want it."

Elena held the glass with shaking hands and brought it up to her lips.

* * *

_2 days later _

Elena opened her eyes as the light poured in through her windows. She spun the ring that Bonnie made for her on her index finger as she lay in bed. 2 days ago she became a fully transitioned vampire. Now, lying on her bed, she thought of every memory that had been taken away from her.

Damon's "I love you". He had compelled her so she would forget. That was a time when she hated the darker Salvatore brother.

Then her heart had grown warmer toward Damon Salvatore, to a point where she was beginning to believe she was in love with him.

But she had loved Stefan first. She had met him first. He had been there for her and he was _permanent _he couldn't leave her.

The brunette no doubted the words she had spoken to the elder Salvatore brother a few days prior.

"Maybe, if I had met you first."

Now, with all of her memories back, she _knew _she had met him first.

She had met him before she knew about vampires and werewolves and hybrids and doppelgangers.

She had met him in the woods, waiting for her parents to arrive. He had approached her and they had spoken. He had kissed her.

"You want a love that _consumes _you."

_Damon just… snuck up on me. He got under my skin, and no matter what I do, I just can't shake him. _Her own words echoed in her mind as she lay in her room.

She couldn't shake him and know that she knew the truth she doubted she ever would.

She knew she had to speak with him, to come face to face with the problem and come to a decision.

* * *

Damon stood in the living room of the house he shared with his brother. He leaned his forehead against his arm, which was pressed against the mantle, a glass of bourbon clutched tightly in his fist. The brunette's appearance had been surprising; especially seeing Stefan was out on a mission with Bonnie. "What do you want to talk about Elena?" he turned his attention toward the girl sitting on the couch.

"Why did you compel me to forget our first meeting." She asked.

"Do you think things would have gone so smoothly for me if you already knew who I was Elena?" Damon asked as he stood in front of the mantle.

"Okay, selfish Damon shut down, number one." Elena sighed. "Better questioned, when I said that I had met Stefan first why didn't you correct me."

"I had compeled you to forget Elena, you wouldn't have believed me to begin with. Besides, I wanted you to make your decision for yourself, not because of what I tell you."

"Please Damon you are always making decision for me, what would have been the difference then?"

"Because Elena, if you loved me, you would have chosen me, regardless of whom you met first. I wanted you to _choose_ me and you _chose _Stefan. Is there any more questions?" he couldn't hide the annoyance in his voice. Why was she bringing this up now? She had already made her choice in that truck and she hadn't chosen him.

"Aren't I allowed to second guess my decision?" she questioned, her brown eyes completely focused on him.

"You can question any decisions you want Elena, but don't drag me along for the ride… I've already been on that rollercoaster once."

She frowned at his sudden defensiveness. She looked down at her feet before sighing. "You're right. It's not fair to you to drag you through this again. I just have so many questions." He noticed the tear rolling down her cheek and he tilted his head back in frustration.

"C'mon Elena this is nothing to cry over. Why are you second guessing your decision now?"

"Because, I _love _you!" She yelled. Damon frowned, taken aback by her sudden outburst.

"Well, I'm not going to lie, I've been waiting to hear you say it but that's not quite the way I imagined it going." He chuckled as she rolled her brown eyes and flopped back against the couch. "Okay Elena, do you want to know why I compelled you that night, because I _HAD_ to. If you knew who I was you would have ruined my plan. I was looking for revenge on my brother and I was hoping to find the love of my life, who was locked in a tomb somewhere. Well I found out that she wasn't as amazing as I thought she was, seeing she was free and never even bothered to stop by and say hello. I fell for you Elena. You were everything she was not. Kathrine was sexy and bold and brave, you were lost, vulnerable, and compassionate but yet you still had a fire in you that was _undeniably _sexy. You were everything that I was looking for and you hated me and loved my brother. It was easier to make you hate me more. I didn't tell you that I had compelled you on the night we met because I wanted to see who you would pick. I wanted to see if you loved me enough to choose me anyway…"

Damon downed the bourbon in his glass. He could feel Elena's eyes on him and it made him nervous. He had just admitted more to Elena in a few short minutes than he had to any other human being, or vampire, in his, very long, life (and death).

Elena looked at him for a moment. "Why can't I get over you?"

"That's the way love works Elena." He shrugged.

"But what is so different about you. What makes you so different than Stefan?" she questioned.

"Because Elena, he may give you what you _want _but I will _always _be there to give you what you _need." _

He watched as Elena swallowed hard. He knew she knew that already, she just wouldn't admit it.

"What I need?"

"Yes, every time you make a decision…like having Stefan save your friend over you… he will give you whatever it is you demand but I will always give you _exactly _what you need, regardless of the consequences."

"So you would have let Matt die to save my life."

"If it had to be done, yes, but If I could help it, no." he shook his head.

"But I would have hated you."

"But you would have been what you wanted to be, human." He shrugged. "If giving you what you need makes you hate me Elena I can't help that. I love you; I will always put you first. Not what you want to be put first but you, I will _always _put you first."

He saw her shoulders shake slightly. He could sense her nervousness. He could always tell when she was nervous but now her uneasiness was magnified.

"I told you what you wanted to hear, what you take from it is up to you." He said as he approached the dark wooden table where the crystal decanter sat. He poured himself another glass of bourbon and took a drink.

The brunette sat silently for a moment, her face in her hands. He knew she was thinking… she had so much to take in in just a few short days. "Elena you should go home and relax."

"No. I have to make my decision and I have to make it now." Elena rose from the couch and began to pace back and forth across the hard wood floors, "for good," she added.

He waited as the brunette paced, she was definitely thinking hard about this decision.

"I've made all of the worng choices since day one." She said simply as she turned to face him.

"Meaning?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I loved Stefan because, he wouldn't leave me." She admitted honestly. "I was so lost after my parents passed that, I became attached to him because he couldn't…die. He wouldn't leave me like they did." She said quietly. He could see from the look in her eye that she was ashamed of herself. He opened his mouth to comment but she held a hand up to silence him. "Than you came along and you were enchanting, at first I hated you but then you crept up on me Damon. Then I fell. I knew I loved you both but I didn't want to choose. I didn't want to choose one and lose the other so I held onto both of you. When I was finally forced to make a decision I picked Stefan because, he was my rock. He had carried me through the deaths of family and friends and I felt safe with him…."

"But you've always been one for a little adventure Elena, or you wouldn't have gotten into this in the first place." He said as he took another long swallow of his drink.

The brunette nodded her head simply. "I wanted to feel safe but I _need _to feel cherished. Stefan loves me but…I don't know if he loves me as much as you do."

"I'm sure he does Elena."

"But he doesn't…make me feel alive." She said quietly. "At first he did, because I was so hollow. Now, I feel love and safety but with you…"

"It consumes you?" he completed, smirking slightly as he used the words he had said a couple of years ago, before Elena even knew his name.

"Yes." She nodded, pushing her brown hair away from her face. "That's why it is so hard. I love you both, for very different reasons."

"But you can only have one Elena." He said quietly as he stirred the ice in his glass. "Who will it be, I promise I will not be angry if you choose Stefan."

The brunette nodded and remained silent for a moment. "I think I've always known the outcome all along but I've been too afraid to say it out loud, but now, theirs is no denying it…." Elena looked at him, her blue eyes focusing on his. "I love you Damon. I love Stefan, I _want _Stefan but I _need _you." She said simply.

"Don't feel guilty Elena, we both want this to be your choice." He said.

"I choose you Damon." She said quietly.

He stood, shocked for a moment. He never believed he would hear those words from Elena. He smiled as the brunette approached him, pulling him into a kiss.

"I love you Damon."

"I love you too Elena, I'll always do what's best for you."

"Do you promise?"

"Always."

* * *

A/N: So that was kind of a crappy ending I'm sorry. : ( I hope it was still some what enjoyable. I've never written Delena before so hopefully it's not a total flop. **Most of all I hope you loved it Whitney because it's your birthday and you are amazing :) **


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